Recently my sisters and I buried my mother.  She had been sick for a while, and the truth is we lost her soul (mind, will & emotions) two years ago when she fell victim to the ravaging effects of Dementia.  Still, she lived, albeit in a bed ridden state, and she was well cared for by my sister Kinsey and brother-in-law Rick.

We expected her passing, even prayed for it, wanting her to be released from a decaying body and united with other loved ones, my father, brother, aunts, grandparents, and friends.  Yet, when her spirit left her body with one last breath, the emotions that welled within carried the message of loss.

My mother is gone. The finality of this relationship has ended. Now by the worlds standards, I am an orphan with both parents deceased.

This concept is troubling and the loss is deep. Grief lies below the surface of every smile and interaction.  How does one deal with losing a loved one held so dear?

I face this nearly every day in my psychotherapy practice. Most everyone I see has had to deal with a loss of a loved one.  Many have not been able to heal, and as such, have become stuck in their grief.  Life becomes more difficult to navigate and the heartache of longing for someone who is no longer here can be unbearable. Grief turns into depression which fosters hopelessness, which often leads to thoughts of one’s own demise to escape the pain.

While there are many support services and therapists available who specialize in grief intervention, I have concluded that preparing for death and dealing with grief effectively mandates, above all, having faith in God.

FAITH is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen (Hew 11:1). We believe in what we cannot see (2 Cor.5:7).  This is the practice of Christians, and followers of Jesus Christ.  What does faith have to do with death? It allows us to believe in what God’s word says, that to be to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord (2 Cor. 5:8). This give great comfort in knowing your loved one who shares your faith is in a much better place, healed and made whole by the Father. In fact, scripture refers to our fleshly bodies as corruptible. But upon death, we take on incorruptible new bodies, and our mortal flesh has been birthed into immortality, joined with Jesus in His kingdom forever more.  This is why the apostle Paul writes, “O Death, where is your sting? O Hades, where is your victory?” Essentially, “death is swallowed up in victory” (1 Cor. 15:54-55).

I am forever grateful that I was introduced to faith in God by my parents and that I can take comfort in knowing where my mother is today. Because of this, I can grieve the loss, yet celebrate the gain.

Forever in my heart. I will miss you mom.