“Love is a choice” writes Gary Chapman, international author and speaker on the topic of marriage.  How we love is a lot different that whether or not we feel love.  As relationships span the course of time, that feeling of love just isn’t dependable.  When the morning rush is on, kids are screaming, spouses work late, finances are tight, toilets overflow, and extended family dynamics bring unwanted drama, that feeling of love gets suffocated in the chaos.

Rather, it is how we love that makes the difference in how we respond to the stressors of life as a couple. We can either tackle life together, as a team, or let the circumstances of our lives divide and conquer. When we choose the latter, our marriage is at risk of joining the statistics of failure and divorce.

If we realize the significance of making our marriage a priority and investing in it with consistent and substantial deposits, then learning how to love can be revolutionary.

Gary explains how to do this in his book, The Five Love Languages.  So often we show love to our spouse from our own idea of loving.  Am example of this is with a couple who was in my office recently for maritalBook: The Five Love Languages counseling.  The wife was complaining because she came home from a trip to find the house was clean, laundry was done, and dogs were walked.  “I don’t need my laundry done,” she explained.  What she wanted was more time with her husband, doing things together, connecting, laughing, talking, and enjoying one another’s company.

Simple enough, right? But difficult if we don’t know what our partner’s love language is.  This can be easily discovered in Dr. Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages. You and your spouse can take the short questionnaires, read the chapters together, and spend time discussing the application questions. This will get take you on a journey of loving better.  The results will be worth the effort. You just have to get started today.

Chocolate and roses are a nice gesture on Valentine’s day and a sweet expression of love.  But does it speak to your partners love language?  Get the book to find out and turn your marriage into a great marriage!